London

I realised the other week that my favourite part of traveling to London is the bit where I leave it, go home and have a long shower. So here are the reasons I hate London. Mostly referring to the underground

1. It stinks
2. I get covered in yuck and don’t feel clean for days, regardless of how many times I wash.
3. It gives me black bogeys
4. There are lots of people
5. People are cunts
6. Lots of people = angry me
7. Small, enclosed spaces = horrible
8. Small spaces + lots of people = angry, stabby me
9. I don’t like being angry, it saddens me
10. The sky is grey, the buildings are grey, and the floor is grey. It makes me feel like I’m trapped in the world’s shittest snow-globe
11. People are rude.
12. People are suspicious and unfriendly
13. If you smile at someone they look at you like you just pissed on their dog
14. 60s and 70s architecture. Ick
15. It takes bloody ages to get anywhere, and most of the journey involves having your face in someone’s sweaty armpit
16. It’s generally raining, which is never a good thing